Desperate

I dont really get desperate you know. Or maybe I do. I would like to term it as eager and anxious but not Desperate. But I have oflate become quite desperate sitting at home.

For Eg. my visa. I mean the plan is being postponed since the past two weeks. Every monday I dream of getting my Visa on a thursday or a wednesday or latest by friday you know. And ever tuesday I am dejected because its not going to happen this week. I had promised myself a deadline that by 15 Aug I should be having the visa in my hand so that everything goes as planned.



Update: Its 17th Aug and I dont think that the visa officers can even smell my documents coming their way. I need the loan paper upgraded to 12 lacs. Hopefully the papers should be put in on Tuesday. But then again. Its a hope. And we all know how that goes.

Second example: A friend. My best friend Pragu decided that USA was a nice country (which it is) and migrated there for 2 or 3 yrs. I have no idea whether I like it or not. Its actually not a question of liking, its a matter of accepting and digesting and adjusting. I digested it when she took the flight. I accepted it two days back when she told me she has moved into her new place and I even saw a video. But adjusting is not happening. Not that we used to meet everyday and sniff each other around. But I knew. That she is just a phone call away and that I can meet her whenever I want. I mean she is still a phone call away but I dont know who are the people she is with, whats the environment she is in or whether she is actually free to attend my call. And I can meet her when I want but I will need to be adopted by the Ambani's which I am not so sure about. You see the Ambani's have a very thick hair growth which means that they stend to be stink soon. So I dont approve. Plus I will have the risk of being kidnapped. So I just think its better to be safe than sorry. And I cant like it or love it or hate it that she is there, because I am too going to be somewhere.

Third example: A boyfriend who listens and cares. I used to have one about a year back. Now i just have a poor xerox copy of him. He looks the same. His mind is the same. But his brain is not. And I think his compassion isnt either. But he is lucky to have me you see. I can listen, I can understand and I can help. And I am looking better than last yr and I am getting thinner and trying to be thinner than last year. And my brain has progressed. But my patience hasnt. It has been tested and bought down. I am not a snob. I am merely stating facts.

Fourth Example: Something to do. I am sure a beggar is busier than me. I mean atleast he earns while sitting. I device schemes that are going to cost my father a lot more later than my existence at this moment. I envy my maid servant, gardener, watchman, dog etc. They all have a purpose. My purpose is twenty days away. I am a hardworking person. I like to slog my ass even though a little smart and shrewd thinking can take me a long way. And I am weird. When I am idle I dream of working and when I am working I dream of sitting idle and whiling away my time. So basically I can never be happy because I am stupid

Conclusion: After only a month of sitting at home, I can safely conclude that I am ready to be a part of Desperate Housewives minus the marriage. My brain is increasing resembling a garbage can. I look like a member of Dumb and Dumber with that perpetual stupid expression on my face. And I have learnt how to cook and lost some weight.